Homesick—for real

[Homesick]

This is the last post that I will write before I pack up all of my things and move to an apartment on my own in Gothenburg, Sweden's second largest city, to study computer stuff for three years. Throughout these first 21 years of my life, I've practically always lived together with my parents and my two brothers. Considering that I am, in fact, homesick by nature, this will be a big change for sure. That's right: I chose my nickname for another reason than just Homesick being a great song, which should make the symbolists of you happy.

If you have your own experiences of moving away to live on your own for the first time (and I reckon a lot of you do, considering the age distribution on this forum), I would love to hear your best advice on getting settled in and learning to appreciate your new home and your new situation so as to not become too much like the narrator in Somebody To Shove (or any other of the plethora of songs about loneliness and alienation that Soul Asylum have written).

I'll enjoy reading any thoughts you might have on the subject once I've hooked up my computer and connected it to the web in my new apartment. To some small degree, I believe, just interacting with this great community of people who at first glance only share a favorite band but also seem to have many other things common (not the least of which being a fascination for discussing Dave Pirner's pants ), can make any loneliness feel less severe. We're currently at 211 people and continue to grow. Thanks for being awesome!

[mystic_spiral_3]

I've been far from home for almost a year now and I still get homesick! Thus I still relate to the narration in many SA songs. Here are some things I found helpful though:

Enjoy picking out things like furniture for your new place.

Put up pictures of friends and family.

It's your place so you can decorate how you wish.

Get an air mattress so those siblings of yours can visit you!

You won't have to argue about tv shows to watch or music to listen to because it is your place.

Work/school will keep you busy during the week so it is the weekends that are the hardest. Maybe find out where a museum or a park is and go see it.

Keep in touch with friends and family.

[lune ellise]

I iwsh you luck, Jake! I wish I can give you advise but I'm still living with my parents as of yet...

I am glad that you treasure this community much. I feel the same way, too. However, take your time enjoying your new place...

[Closer]

Maybe you can go back home for the weekend if the distance is doable, at least in the beginning. That is what people here (the Netherlands) often do that move out to study somewhere else. They spend the weekends at home to see their family and friends, (and to let mom do the laundry) and if you are very homesick during the week, knowing that you're going to be at home in the weekend might make it easier. Good luck with your study.

[CrazyLittleWoman]

Maybe you can go back home for the weekend if the distance is doable, at least in the beginning. That is what people here (the Netherlands) often do that move out to study somewhere else. They spend the weekends at home to see their family and friends, (and to let mom do the laundry) and if you are very homesick during the week, knowing that you're going to be at home in the weekend might make it easier. Good luck with your study.

Students here (in U.S.) who go away to school do that, too -- go back to visit parents on the weekend for company, free meals and free laundry!

When I moved into my first apartment without roommates, I found the first two months to be the hardest. I felt lonely a lot because I was in a city far from my hometown. My friendships in the new city were still making the transition from acquaintances to true friends. But after the first two months, things got easier. I began to relish my chosen periods of solitude.

The best part was the realization that I now made all the house rules. I could arrange everything to suit myself. That was fun. There was some chore I didn't want to do one evening (just feeling lazy) and suddenly I thought, "I don't have to do that tonight if I don't want to, because I'm a grown-up and nobody can tell me what to do." Sounds silly now, but it felt like an important revelation at the time.

Things I appreciated right away were making my own rules about guests, stereo volume (within reason, of course, to keep neighbors from calling the police), smoking, bedtime, morning alarms, and reading with full lights until the wee hours of the morning.

Mystic Spiral has some great suggestions for you about making your new place feel like home.

Oh, but definitely unpack all your favorite things first, like books and music and artwork, to make the new place feel homey right away. Don't let the good stuff sit around in boxes.

[Homesick]

Well, it's been a few weeks now, and I'm feeling pretty settled in my new apartment and city. What's more, I've realized that it's not really a long way home as I had first thought, so spending a weekend back at my parents' place every now and then is no hassle at all.

Thanks for the kind words and advice, everyone!

[zany]

so i just feel like posting about being away from home this week and thought this was the right place?

the hotel has one of those great clock radios with an input thingy for an mp3 player but mine wasn't working my first day here. tonight i got them to replace it and am so happy i get to listen to my SA w/out the headphones!. (ears are worn out from 3 hour flight with them on yesterday)
PLUS i was too busy at work to listen to anything then. i got spoiled from the flight.

on the plane i started getting more hooked on the few golden smog songs i downloaded awhileback. i'm curious to read up on who sings which songs, i really like both the vocalists that are new to me (well and dan too of course).
who sings hurricane? and who sings 'until you came along'? i think that's the one that sounds greatful-dead-ish to me.

anyways being in FL is making me annoyed that there's no concert here for next time i come down. where i am i have to drive 45 mins every day from the hotel to work so i don't think i'd have thought 2.5 hours for the show would have been a big deal.

done with my ramblings (for now)

[philipgar]

on the plane i started getting more hooked on the few golden smog songs i downloaded awhileback. i'm curious to read up on who sings which songs, i really like both the vocalists that are new to me (well and dan too of course).
who sings hurricane? and who sings 'until you came along'? i think that's the one that sounds greatful-dead-ish to me.

Hurricane was one of Danny's songs, and I think he's singing on it (back in '01 Soul Asylum was playing Hurricane for a while, of course the smog were playing the song live back in the late 90s, so it went back and forth). I think Until you Came Along was a Gary tune, listening to it now you can definitely hear him on it. Really though, with the smog, the only voice that definitely sticks out to me is Tweedy's songs. You can really tell when he is singing. You can with dan as well, but only because I know his works so well. I personally highly recommend anything by the Smog, as well as the constituent bands (primarily SA of course, the jayhawks, and wilco, but I also love the "minor" smog bands they've borrowed drummers from like the honeydogs, the mats, zuzu's petals and big star amongst others).

Phil

[zany]

thanks i better listen again and figure out which song has 'that' voice i'm wondering about if hurricane is dan.

[zany]

ok i'm sorted out - the voice i was wondering about is on until you came along and Starman (not hurricane)

the greatfuldead sounding song is radio king. but that has 2 voices and my brain can't sort them out right now.